Couples Therapy

Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. But when one partner repeatedly manipulates, invalidates, or controls the other’s thoughts, feelings, or reality, it can cross a line into emotional abuse. Two common — and often misunderstood — dynamics that can show up in relationships are gaslighting and narcissistic behavior.

These patterns can be deeply confusing and painful, leaving the other partner feeling like they’re “the problem,” even when they’re being mistreated. We hear a lot in our media and casual conversation about narcissism and gaslighting and these terms are often used incorrectly. Being selfish, jerky, and uncaring, while all unpleasant qualities to be around, do not make automatically someone a narcissist. Individuals diagnosed with NPD rarely seek treatment, but those in their lives (children, romantic partners, etc) often do. I hold a certificate in working with those who have experienced narcissistic emotional abuse, including gaslighting. 

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where one person tries to make the other question their own perception, memory, or sanity. It often involves:

• Denying things that were said or done (“I never said that.”)
• Minimizing your feelings or responses (“You’re overreacting.”)
• Blaming you for their behavior (“If you weren’t so sensitive, I wouldn’t get angry.”)
• Twisting facts to shift responsibility
• Making you feel confused, anxious, or like you can’t trust yourself

Over time, gaslighting can erode a person’s self-esteem and lead to feelings of self-doubt, helplessness, and emotional dependence.

What Is Narcissism in Relationships?

Narcissism exists on a spectrum. At its core, narcissistic behavior often involves:

• A strong need for control, admiration, or superiority
• Lack of empathy or genuine emotional connection
• Blaming others for problems or refusing accountability
• Using others to meet their own needs, often without concern for the impact
• Reacting with anger or defensiveness when challenged

Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner can feel one-sided, exhausting, and emotionally draining.

Why Therapy Can Help 

If you’re experiencing gaslighting or narcissistic behaviors in your relationship, therapy can help in several powerful ways:

• Recognize unhealthy dynamics that you may have normalized
• Rebuild self-trust and confidence if you’ve been manipulated or devalued
• Learn healthy boundaries and how to assert them effectively
• Process emotional pain and confusion in a safe, supportive environment
• Decide what you want from the relationship — whether that’s repair, protection, or separation
• Improve self esteem and self doubt issues
• Address depression and/or anxiety resulting from the relationship

In cases where emotional abuse or severe narcissism is present, therapy often starts with individual support to help the affected partner gain clarity and safety. Couples therapy may not be appropriate or effective unless both partners are genuinely committed to change and respectful dialogue.

You Deserve to Feel Safe, Heard, and Valued

If your relationship leaves you constantly second-guessing yourself or feeling small, therapy can offer the insight and support you need. You’re not overreacting. You’re not imagining things. And you’re not alone.